adulthood.

In November, I turned 18. The big 1-8, the legal age of (almost) everything. I'm officially considered an adult, yet I still sometimes feel 12 on the inside. Some people might even be convinced that I'm a 5 year old stuck inside an 18 year old body. Sometimes, I'd agree with them. I still quote Spongebob like a 10 year old who's had too much candy.

Adulthood is this weird thing to me. Suddenly, once you turn 18, POOF, you can no longer be tried as a juvenile (not that I have plans to commit a crime or anything) and you suddenly have all these responsibilities thrust upon you like voting and driving yourself to the doctor and making your own damn appointments (which terrifies me, but we're slowly working on it). But in all honesty, I just want to lay around and possibly watch Adventure Time on Netflix while I drink hot chocolate (shout out to Trader Joe's for making a delicious, organic instant mix. You know what I want, TJ. You always do. <3). IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!

Well, not really, I suppose. Sure, I have to work at a job and make my own money and drive myself places instead of my mom taking me and tell the doctor why I don't feel well by myself and pay for my own computer repairs (mental note: call Apple already and ask them how much it's going to cost to replace your stupid battery) and cook my own food every once in a while but that doesn't mean I can't do all my childish things, right? Just because I've passed into the 'legal adult' territory age-wise doesn't mean I'm not allowed to do the things I used to. It's silly to think that way, and yet, I've had those thoughts before.

I guess I've realized that I've previously put so much pressure on myself to be 'adult-like' all the time, 24 hours a day, even before I was really considered an adult. I think that's silly. I shouldn't have to conform to 'mature' ideals just because I'm now legally considered an adult. My mother is 50 years old and we still jump in mud puddles together like we're both 5 year old kids. And that's great! It's fun! Life should be fun!! (Insert cliche, overdone ~life is too short~ quote that I wholeheartedly live by.)

Basically, adulthood has always scared me because it gave me visions of pencil skirts paired with comfortable yet ugly shoes and an office job that gave me no creative freedom whatsoever and made me conform to a cookie-cutter ideal. Now that I'm legally an adult, I realize that's not a guaranteed fate nor is it a death sentence. It's just a less than ideal way of living my life. I've also realized that I'm in my first year of college, and while job hunting and internships are not far from a reality, I've also got some time.

So I guess I can continue to eat organic snack foods and drink tea and binge watch House of Cards. Adults do these things too. Becoming an adult doesn't mean you're done doing your favorite things. It just means that you have to add in responsibilities to the mix too, as much as you don't want to. Now that I'm done rambling (and posting for the second day in a row, HEYO!), I'm going to go organize my room (maybe), finish this hot chocolate, and maybe take a nap with my cats. Or just watch endless YouTube videos, like usual. Who knows. I've done all my responsible, 'adult' things for today.